The life we could lead
by gwendolineB
Summary: A collection of one shots about Jane's and Lisbon's life with all their ups and downs. Spoilers for the rest of season 6.
1. Chapter 1

**Hi Mentalistas!**

**I'm back with a collection of short one shots. The topics and times (CBI, FBI, AU) depend. I won't be able to update often because I have a lot to do with sociology, politics and history at the university. But there's much time to write during a lecture :)**

**Mostly rated T. Please read and review!**

**xxxxx**

1) Contains spoilers for 6x19:

Jane sat on his couch and watched Lisbon walking out of the office for the last time; she just had told him that she would leave Texas and move to Washington with Marcus. Lisbon felt his gaze behind her but didn't look back. She needed to forget about him to live a happy life with Marcus far away from Jane. She knew it would turn out to be normal, quiet and boring, even if she would still be a cop, but Pike was a nice guy, so why would she have to complain?

_I'll miss the trouble Jane causes, the sleepless nights I have because of him, the fear of being suspended because he insulted someone important, the relief of seeing that he's alive after a shooting and that he's alive in general, the way he teases me everyday and even the feeling of embarrassment when he reads my feelings like a book...God, I'll miss Jane. Everything about him. But I have to, so let's walk out of here and never look back again._

The door had almost closed behind Lisbon, when her life turned around the second time this day.

"Lisbon." She stood rooted to the spot behind the glass door and held her breath.

_I knew it. Why does everything have to be so difficult? I just wanna have a normal life like everybody else. I don't want to decide between a normal life and the life I would like to have since I met Jane._

_He called her again, and this time, she turned around and went back to him._

"Jane, just say it. Say it and I'll stay. For you. But I waited way too long, so if you don't hurry up, I'll be gone and you will never hear from me again."

"Teresa, I know I can't beg you to stay because of my selfish feelings for you, but..."

"Damn it, I don't have all day! Come to the point!" _Did he just say 'feelings for you' ?_

"Please, stay. I will give you the life you want, I'll give you anything you want. I know I'm too late, but please, give me one last chance. I won't screw up this time."

"Give me the reason. I need to hear it from you. The clock is ticking, Jane."

He knew it was time, maybe not the right time, but he was the master of saying the wrong things at the wrong time...

"I love you. Please, Teresa, stay here."

"I thought you would never say it...Promise me you won't screw up, won't run away and won't lie anymore."

"I promise." _God, I can't believe it. She stays here and leaves Pike for a broken, dishonest bastard like me. I won't lie to her again, never ever. I just have to make sure she stays with me._

Lisbon sat down next to him. "Why the hell did you wait 12 years with this?"

"I was afraid."

"Of what, Jane? Of what?!"

"Afraid of you. I thought you wouldn't want me because I'm a mess and I never thought you love me as much I do."

"I love you, too."

Her phone rang, it was Pike. She waited until she heard the voicemail he left because she didn't want to talk to him right now.

"Hey Reese, are you coming? I'm waiting for you at the airport. We'll meet there in three hours. Did you tell that blonde jerk you don't wanna see him again and that you're looking forward to a new life without him like you promised me?"

Lisbon turned her phone off and stared at it. This wasn't what she planned five minutes ago.


	2. Chapter 2

**I don't own The Mentalist and I don't make money with fanfiction.**

**Alternative universe: Jane writes a letter to Lisbon about his feelings towards her. Set in 1600. I tried writing Elizabethan English, because I recently read Romeo and Juliet...For non native speakers, this kind of English sounds funny and intelligent at the same time...**

**Please read and review!**

**xxxxx**

2)

"My dearest Teresa,

Methinks thou art not happy with thy new man. He doth love thee, I have to accept it, but I pray thee, listen to me. Twas hard for me to see him kiss thee, and I know thou art not too quickly won by a man. I know I won thine heart long ago but I do not have the courage to confess it. This letter wilt ne'er find the way to thy hands and wilt ne'er be read by thy beautiful bright shining eyes, 'tis forsooth. Not until this broken heart of mine wilt be ready to admit its feelings. Someday, thou wilst see he is not what thou seek, but I do beseech thou, be patient. He shalt treat thee more like a lady and not like a mistress.

I observed him all day and all night, he doth not value thee enough, he is not kind and caring, methinks he only wants thy gorgeous body. So if this letter e'er finds thee, thou wilst read the humble words I am writing to thee. I am asking:

Dost thou love me? Because I do. Tis very likely thou wilst ne'er know this, but if I find the courage to tell thee one day, I hope thou wilst not reject me. My soul is deeply broken from the losses of the past and my heart is broken because I have to see thy man. I would kill and die for thee, but I doubt he would. He hath no idea how to treat thee right. Thou art a fair lady and thou deserve all the love in the world. I would love thee like this...I already do.

I hope one day thou forgivst me my many flaws and see me as the man who wants not only thy body, but also thy heart.

Be farewell.

Your Patrick."

**xxxxx**

**Daaamn, this was hard to write. I hope it's kitschy enough to be Shakespeare. Don't missunderstand me, I like this kind of language, I just can't write it! Please review and, if you want, tell me what I should write next.**


	3. Chapter 3

**I don't own The Mentalist and I don't make money with fanfictions.**

**This story contains spoilers for the rest of the season!**

**Thanks to MaryVic for her last review! I really tried to write story 2 in iambic pentameter, but it turned out toooo difficult...**

**However, the next story is rated T with a little M (actually it could be T) in the end.**

**Read and review!**

**xxxxx**

3) Lisbon had recently broken off with Pike after he asked her to marry him; she knew it had been a disaster for him, because he really loved her. But she also knew that he was aware she always had loved another man and it wouldn't be a happy marriage for her. The moment Pike proposed to Lisbon, she felt like running away from her feelings. Not feelings for Pike, but for Jane. Yes, she wanted to run away like Jane always did when it came to emotions. Instead, she stayed and explained to Pike why she couldn't marry him. He was disappointed but claimed that he could understand and then left without a word.

Instinctively, Lisbon went to the HQ. She had to take a cab, because earlier this evening, Marcus had picked her up with his car and now she had no other option but taking a cab. A few weeks ago she arrived at a crime scene in a cab, but Jane immediately realized why she didn't arrive with her own car. She claimed that hers wouldn't start to hide that she had spend the night with Pike. This had been one of the many times when she felt bad for lying to Jane so obviously. She had never been a good liar and even felt guilty when she was talking to Pike on the phone when Jane was around.

Now she felt both free about not being pressured by Pike anymore to be someone who she wasn't, but put herself under time pressure because she left Pike for Jane and thought she needed to tell him as soon as possible how she felt.

Unlike usual, Jane wasn't sleeping or pretending to be asleep on the couch. In fact, he wasn't in the office at all. Lisbon noticed she was completely alone. She looked around and lay down on his brown leather couch. She realized that she had never been laying down on one of his couches. Not in the CBI, not here. Plus, she had never been alone on his couch. Lisbon wondered if she had sat with Jane on the FBI couch, but she couldn't remember a single time. Things had been so awkward between them ever since he had returned from the island...and then she met Pike.

Jane was right, this couch was a great place to think about...whatever...everything and nothing. Two weeks ago, Pike had told her he had a job offer in DC and asked her if she wanted to go with him. She really considered moving with him to DC and was irritated why Jane didn't say anything the next day. She assumed he would figure it out anyway because he always knew what she was thinking. It was Abbott who told her that Jane probably didn't know about her plans because she hadn't told him yet. To be honest, it was kind of weird that _of all people_ Abbott would talk to her about her unspoken feelings for Jane...

But even worse was Jane's reaction when Lisbon had told him about these plans.

_He said 'Congratulations'. I mean, really. Like that's all he'd say when I'm telling him that I'll leave him for another man and move to the other side of the country...And then he claimed he wouldn't be upset..."When you're happy, then I'm happy." Yeah, right...idiot._

She stayed on his couch and didn't realize how fast the time passed by.

It was a weird sight: this beautiful, dark haired woman in a short, black dress and high heels was stretching out on Jane's couch and looked up to the ceiling. After a while, she took off her shoes, let them fall to the floor carelessly and was seriously surprised by the noise it caused. The silence in this office was almost scary. Lisbon snuggled into the couch and took off her jewelry, too. Of course she liked the earrings and the necklace Pike gave to her, but this wasn't her. Dresses, high heels, jewelry, make-up, expensive restaurants with cloth napkins and everything. There were millions of other women who liked this stuff and Pike would find another woman to marry him.

_Probably in a dress made of white cloth napkins..._she thought, almost smiling. Suddenly, she started to cry. Not like all the other times she was crying alone on a couch. This time, she just lay there, looked at the ceiling and cried quietly to herself. She didn't know why. There was no reason to be sad or desperate, there should only be hope and happiness, but still, she felt like something was missing. The moment Pike had proposed to her, she knew she would regret that for the rest of her life. Pike was a nice guy, but being a nice guy wasn't enough for her. She wanted Jane, and nobody else. Too bad it took her more than 12 years to confess these feelings to herself.

But where was that bastard?

She got up from the couch and went to his Airstream. It was in a small, forest-like place half an hour away from the HQ.

xxxxx

Jane heard the knock on the door just as he drifted into sleep. There was only one person who would be allowed to interrupt his sleep right now, and he hoped it was her.

"Lis...Teresa?" Lisbon stood in front of the door in a black dress and her hair looked even more perfect than usually. But it wasn't her beauty that distracted him and made him speechless, he was used to her beauty after working with her for over a decade.

It was the fact that she was standing barefoot in a black cocktail dress in the forest in front of his Airstream at 2 AM.

"Where are your shoes? I can't imagine you walked all the way here without shoes in this gorgeous dress..."

"Hm? My shoes? Oh. I guess I left them at your couch..." Suddenly, she realized how tipsy she was from the champagne she drank with Pike.

"Well, never mind. I'll drive you home, ok?" _What's going on with Lisbon? She turns up here in the middle of the night after a date with Pike, which doesn't seem to have ended well. I hope she broke up with that guy, he's not good for her..._

"Sure, thanks Jane. Um, listen, there's something I have to tell you..."

_Oh no, not now girl. You are too drunk and tomorrow you'll regret it. Don't make the mistake I did. Pretending not to remember saying something is almost as bad as waiting too long._

"We're there. You better sleep now, whatever it is you want to tell me, wait until you're sober." he said and grinned at her.

_He's probably right. Wait for the right time. That's not right now, but probably tomorrow after work..._she said to herself, while she was going to her bedroom.

"Jane!"

"Yeah?"

"Could you...stay the night? Please?"

_This must be serious, she isn't the type who says 'please' and 'thank you' so often..._

"Alright, but what will your agent Pike think when he hears that you let other men sleep in your apartment?" he asked, half joking.

"Excuse me?!"

"I'm sorry, don't take this too serious, Lisbon."

"No, it's fine." she heard herself say. _Why did I tell him it's fine? Well, maybe because it is...I guess it's better to be honest with Jane now. I don't care if I drank too much. I'm not so drunk that I would forget about this conversation tomorrow._

"You know what? I broke up with him."

"Heartbreaker!" They both knew when he called her that the last time. Jane's face brightened, now it was his time. No Pike. Finally.

"You did? Why?"

"He...you remember that he asked me if I wanted to move to DC with him and I said I needed time to think about it? He asked me again today."

"That's not because you walked barefoot and drunk through the forest to see me. I know you, Teresa."

"He proposed to me. But I couldn't let that happen. I mean, I love Marcus, but I can't marry him."

"Oh, I didn't see that coming...so fast. I knew he was gonna ask you to marry him, but I thought he would wait longer."

"You did what?!"

"Come on, it was obvious he would propose to you...Don't look at me like you wanted to shoot me! I would have done something about it at the right time. Don't worry."

"The right time? You're such an idiot, Jane...Did you really think I would have left him if you asked me to?"

"Yes."

"Just yes? I guess I have to rethink if I let you sleep here...jackass."

"Oh, now you're insulting me, or what? He's a nice guy, but you need a man who lights up your life, who makes you laugh, whom you feel save with..."

"I felt save with Marcus, you are the kind of man who makes a woman fear for what could happen the next second." she grinned.

"See? That's what I mean! I can make you happy, no matter how bad your day was."

Jane grabbed her shoulders and looked at her. The moment had finally come, he was ready and free, no Pike and no serial killer stood between them.

"Teresa."

"Jane, I..."

"No. Look at me. I love you. I fell in love with you ages ago but there was always something between us. If I hadn't told you that I love you now, I would have regretted it my whole life long. I'm already regretting that I didn't say it earlier and that I hurt you all those years. So please, tell me you love me, too."

Lisbon felt tears burning in her eyes the second time this night, put her arms around his head and kissed him.

"I love you, too, Patrick."

MMMMM

Was it too early to go further? He wanted to feel every inch of her body, wanted to rip off the dress and do everything with her he always fantasized about. Maybe it was better to start slowly.

Jane sat down on her bed, she was sitting on his lap. He felt that she was both kind of uncomfortable with this sudden closeness and eager to find out what was coming.

Jane let his fingers wander up and down the shapes of her body slowly, careful not to touch her butt or her breasts, but always an inch too close for her.

Lisbon wasn't sure if she wanted this or not; she had just broken up with her boyfriend and now, hours later, she tried to stay in control while Jane was doing things with her she could only dream of.

He laid one hand on her thigh and caressed her waist with the other, trying to find out where she was ticklish in case he could use this against her sometime. He heard her breath a little faster when he stroked her inner thighs.

"God, Jane, you can't do this to me."_ You bastard, you're just taking advantage of the situation...It's not right to seduce a woman who just broke up with her boyfriend. Jackass...damn, I love you._

"No? I'm enjoying this." he replied and continued to caress her sweaty thighs.

"Do you know how hard it is to stay calm?!"

"Oh yeah..." _What do you think? I would be lost without bio-feedback..._

Jane put his hands on her hips and noticed that something was off.

It felt like there was nothing between the fabric of her dress and her skin.

"Teresa? You're not wearing...? I mean, you...um, you know?"

"Um, no. I'm not wearing any underwear under the dress..."

"Why?!"

"Because a) it looks better and b) this is a date-dress, and I was with Marcus all evening, so I thought..."

"Ah, you thought when you're having dinner with Pike you two would end up in bed anyway so there's no need for underwear."

"Well, actually...yes." _Oh my god, this sounds like I'm a slut...damn. And why the hell am I talking about Marcus with Jane? Screw it, girl! You're sitting on Jane's lap and who knows what else is gonna happen tonight, so just relax, damn it._

"Good."

The sound of his voice brought her back to reality, but when he let his hands slip under her dress, forced her legs wider and teased her there, she felt like she was about to lose her mind.

**xxxxx**

**Thanks for reading! Please review!**


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